Reader matter:

My girlfriend and I tend to be separated. She was actually unfaithful 3 x this last month, but I happened to be unfaithful 19 years ago. We have been married 21 years. She wants to divorce and after a couple of months, get married again therefore we can have a clean slate.

I have forgiven her of and would like to work it out. But are we throwing away my time, or perhaps is this true?

-Mike R. (Washington)

Dr. Wendy Walsh's Solution:

OK, I Am baffled. Your wife really wants to spend 1000s of dollars of this family members money in divorce court and keeping two different homes, merely so she can get married you again? I could comprehend her need for some sort of symbolic ritual to produce a "clean slate" inside her mind, but splitting up isn't the strategy to get it done.

I will suggest a week-long partners retreat that culminates along with you two reinstating the vows. Bottom line: You two need open communication to realize why she had those affairs. Affairs are often the symptom of a larger problem. And that is what you should discover before you could proceed.

No counseling or therapy advice: your website cannot provide psychotherapy advice. The website is supposed only for use by people on the lookout for common info of great interest relating to dilemmas individuals may deal with as people and also in interactions and relevant subject areas. Content material is certainly not intended to change or act as substitute for expert consultation or service. Contained findings and viewpoints should not be misconstrued as certain guidance guidance.