Reader matter:

My girlfriend and I tend to be separated. She was actually unfaithful 3 x this last month, but I happened to be unfaithful 19 years ago. We have been married 21 years. She wants to divorce and after a couple of months, get married again therefore we can have a clean slate.

I have forgiven her of and would like to work it out. But are we throwing away my time, or perhaps is this true?

-Mike R. (Washington)

Dr. Wendy Walsh's Solution:

OK, I Am baffled. Your wife really wants to spend 1000s of dollars of this family members money in divorce court and keeping two different homes, merely so she can get married you again? I could comprehend her need for some sort of symbolic ritual to produce a "clean slate" inside her mind, but splitting up isn't the strategy to get it done.

I will suggest a week-long partners retreat that culminates along with you two reinstating the vows. Bottom line: You two need open communication to realize why she had those affairs. Affairs are often the symptom of a larger problem. And that is what you should discover before you could proceed.

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